I have a poem on “The Poet” page that refers to this old piece. It’s not at all an example of my best work, but I thought I’d include it as a bit of history and as the missing piece to “Overvision.”
Moon Watcher They chuckle softly because once again I have called them outside, away from the deathly cold light of their television to see the moon, a burning globe of blood above our street. They nod politely. They say, “It’s lovely,” and thank me as before. Then my neighbors turn, shaking heads, exchanging smiles, back up the sidewalk toward their home and the lifeless rays within.
8 Comments
October 9, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I guess some see less than others, as if they’ve almost trained themselves to not see as they once used to, prefering everything to be presented in widescreen box. A good slice of life in your words, and social commentary.
October 10, 2008 at 7:57 am
I am so thankful you stumbled upon on my poetry blog, because it brought me to you. From my few brief clicks this morning, I can tell I will be visiting you often. This piece is beautiful in its simple truth… makes me want to enjoy the sky tonight. I imagine my neighbors would think it just as odd.
I can’t wait to read more.
Bryan
October 10, 2008 at 11:45 am
Matt, and Bryan, thank you both for your comments. You two brought a smile to my face that the coffee couldn’t dredge up.
I think that looking back I feared this poem would come off as preachy, when really I was going for wonder and a little sadness. Ironically, I think that “Overvision” which calls for not revising the old magic to death, is the better poem. But you make me glad I let the original be as it was. Thanks!
October 13, 2008 at 7:04 am
This is lovely.
Like Bryan, I’m grateful that you find my poetry blog as it led me to yours.
Blessings,
Stephanie
October 17, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Love the moon muchly..thank you for the peek.
October 18, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Stephanie and Nectarfizz, thanks for the attention!
October 30, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Where did you post this before? I know I saw it … anyway, I know the feeling and share the sentiment. Thank you for feedback on my blog, and I love the picture of you with the boys … ain’t being a dad just the best? Makes you want to write poetry, don’t it. Keep doing what you do.
October 31, 2008 at 9:44 am
I posted it twice I believe on Notes From the Dirty Orange Book, my old blog at Journalspace. Before that it was seen in a small university journal here in central Pennsylvania, Lock Haven University’s “The Crucible.”
And yes, being a dad is the absolute best.